I should have started this a long time ago. At the end of tour seems a dumb time to start chronicling my life... but I have done a lot of thinking lately. Being faced with the real world really gets your mind revved up!
I made the choice recently NOT to continue with Sesame Street Live. It has been an amazing experience that has taught me a lot about myself, the business, and life in general - but its also given me quite a kick in the pants both good and bad.
Being shrouded in a fuchsia rug, hidden from the world, I have experienced some amazing moments. As an avid supporter of childrens' theatre it has been an absolute honor seeing children at a theatre for the first time, smile beaming from ear to ear, witnessing their dreams come true while they meet some of their best friends. Those few moments we spend interacting directly with the audience mean the world to these kids (and their parents). I am humbled that they hold these characters in such high regard, knowing that the scrawny man inside is sweating horrendously. That is the glory of this line of work. But as an actor it is not nearly as fulfilling.
As I previously mentioned, I am thoroughly honored to have been granted this opportunity to play an icon of childhood and find myself surrounded by television legends - believe me, I understand the importance of their meaning. I allow myself to get caught up in the magic more often than not, and it is an intensely gratifying experience... but I have lost myself somewhere along the line. This sounds selfish, and I assure you it is, but I know I can do better. Not better than Sesame Street (because, let's face it, they are the bomb-diggity), I just know that I am capable of much more. I have never considered myself a strong dancer... yet that's how I've spent my life for the past year-and-a-half. Sure I consider it mostly movement and extreme characterization, but the "professional world" humors me enough to call me a dancer
(thank you Cedar Rapids).
There was never a question as to what I would do with my life from the moment I first stepped on stage. In fact, I would be afraid of doing anything "normal". As I write this I realize that I'm headed toward a very solid brick wall of reality where the hard choices and extreme sacrifice start to manifest themselves as a staple of this business... this is where the fun begins.
I took a leap out of the safety net when I said I would not return to SSL next year, and I hope that risk pays off. I feel confident that it is the right choice, but the imminent thought of unemployment in this muddled economic situation is quite imposing.
This year I have been torn down, built myself back up, disrespected, praised, and most of all survived another year as a working actor.
Time to figure out what comes next!
